Dearest Athlete Illuminated Community,
Hope you had a restful and replenishing weekend! We’re kicking off the week with a topic that was NOT part of my upbringing: future-oriented thinking.
I’m one of those Gen X latchkey kids who was responsible for getting myself home and fed as a 3rd grader, drinking water out of the neighbor’s garden hose for hydration, and making ashtrays out of clay for our parents in art class.
Outside of Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers, no one was thinking much about feelings.
And as a young, highly competitive athlete in the ’80s and ’90s, no one was considering my body to be a kid-body. No one cared much about developing kid bones and joints; they treated kid bodies like adult bodies. No one said that it was insane that a 10-year-old train 46 hours in the gym every week. No one said that it was terrible that very young athletes should be withheld nourishment and water, as needed.
All that mattered was the idea of “WINNING, AT ALL COST.”
I didn’t know what “cost” meant at 10, but now at 47 my body can tell you what the cost is – chronic pain from overtraining and injuries sustained over 30 years ago. No cartilage in my elbows and right knee, back pain, hip issues, ankle instability. Arthritis everywhere.
Take a breath. I’m okay. I don’t like it, but I’m used to it. I’m strong-willed, I’m proud of what my body has accomplished, and I still strive for the fullest life I can achieve. I’m currently training for my next adventure…stay tuned.
But I am sure glad that there are some things about sports that are changing for the better today. In fact, I pat myself and my Gen X and Millennial peers on the back because many of us are raising today’s athletes in a very different way than we grew up. Most guardians who talk with me about their athlete children want them to be healthy, make friends, and learn invaluable lessons about life…and if they happen to be very good at and enjoy their sport, guardians will support their goals and dreams.
In other words, “WINNING, AS A JOURNEY” – minimizing trauma as best as possible. This is heart of “future orientation thinking.”
The benefits of future orientation thinking:
- a chance for a longer career and hopefully healthier relationship with your sport,
- a healthier body,
- a healthier mind,
- healthier relationships with others, and
- a healthier relationship with money.
Future orientation thinking means, “Consider how you’ll feel in (a certain amount of time) when thinking about yourself today.”
And there are various versions of your future self to consider:
- tomorrow‘s you,
- next competition‘s you,
- your ultimate goal‘s you,
- 3-5 years from now you, and
- retired you.
How does this pan out? It depends on the situation.
Put it into practice: Put yourself in the shoes of each (totally made up but could happen) example below, and think of your answers from the viewpoint of: tomorrow’s you, next competition’s you, your ultimate goal’s you, 3-5 years from now you, and retired you.
(Totally Made Up But Could Happen) Example 1: Jax is a 13-year-old who had elbow surgery three months ago, but was invited to compete in a big international competition in the next month. Jax is currently in physical therapy and attends practices to condition and remain connected with teammates. Jax’s ultimate goal is to qualify for the Olympics. The Olympics are two years away, should Jax compete in the international competition?
(Totally Made Up But Could Happen) Example 2: Jo is a 20-year-old who has been feeling exhausted. Jo has not slept much because of studying for midterms and attending practices as usual. Tonight, Jo is invited to go to a party where there will be alcohol and marijuana (it is college, after all). Jo drinks alcohol but does not like the feel of marijuana, so generally does not take it. Tomorrow, Jo is supposed to have a short practice. In two weeks, playoffs start. Jo’s ultimate goal is to make it to the finals. Should Jo go to the party?
(Totally Made Up But Could Happen) Example 3: Juno is a 33-year-old who has been struggling to cover both the needs of sport and needs of their family. Juno does freelance work to be flexible enough to attend trainings and competitions, help with family responsibilities, and cover expenses. But lately, Juno’s freelance work opportunities have declined. The financial stress has impacted Juno’s relationship with their partner. The only space where Juno feels “normal” and able to release the stress is in Juno’s sport. Juno’s sport season will begin in one month, and Juno’s ultimate goal is to qualify for the finals this year. What can Juno do?
If you were in each person’s situation, what would you do? What would tomorrow‘s you, next competition‘s you, your ultimate goal‘s you, 3-5 years from now you, and retired you say about your decision?
As you can see, there are no set answers. And especially, no easy ones. But…
The simple act of thinking about what is important to you has already increased your chance for a healthier living. It comes down to is, what kind of life do you want for yourself?
If you want to be healthy enough, then you’ll do what it takes to balance training with nourishment, hydration, rest, and recuperation.
If you want to be ready for competition, you’ll do what it takes to prepare for it.
If you want to be able to continue in sport while caring for others, then you’ll talk with, negotiate, and come up with a plan with your community in order to find a way through the tough times.
And true to the athlete-mentality that you have, once you have your future self and goals in mind, you’ll have your direction. The direction might not be simple or easy, but it will be a direction nonetheless.
And let’s not push off the ultimate question: what do you want your “retirement” to look and feel like?
Because…that day will come…
When you’ll hang up your uniform and take on the sacred status of “Forever Athlete.”
If you’re lucky, it will be a planned retirement. The transition is tough, but at least within your control.
If you’re like me and got the forced retirement, life threw an unexpected curveball at you. For me, it was injuries. That lack of control over the decision to walk away from a sport you love brings a new layer to work through in the transition process.
So, do include your retired self within your future-oriented musings. May it inspire you to both enjoy the present and look forward to a bright future.
As a proud Gen X Forever Athlete and Parent-of-Athletes today, I hope for each of you the same thing that I hope for my own children…
May you win at life.
All the best,
Laura
Note: This and every Athlete Illuminated post is for educational purposes only and not a replacement for mental health treatment. If you are in urgent need of mental health support, please call 9-8-8. If you are experiencing an emergency, please call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest emergency room. For ongoing mental health concerns, consider seeking professional support or therapy.
Leave a Reply