The “Amp Up” Self-Care Challenge

Ahh, self-care. We nod our heads and say, “Oh yes, absolutely!” when we see posts that remind us to take time for ourselves every day, get at least 8 hours of sleep, exercise every day, drink all the water, take all the vitamins and supplements, get enough social time, get enough alone time, stretch, etc. etc. And all the research that goes into every category, reminding us just how important it all is, and if we’re not getting enough of those things, we are going to eventually ruin our lives.

(For the record, yes – all of the above are important – and thank you, research!…but it’s just…)

Be honest here. Raise your hand if you ACTUALLY do all the self-care things you need every day, actuating on those social media recommendations.

If you did, you’re amazing and I bow down to you (or you’re lying!).

I didn’t raise my hand either.

And frankly, I’m hearing more and more from clients about the feeling of pressure to get self-care right (athletes are such perfectionists!); however, even after they’ve done all the things, every day, if they are still not feeling 100% energized and content, what are they doing wrong?

Well, maybe it’s that your way(s) is not exactly the way(s) that most social media self-care gurus might say to do.

Ask my kids and my partner, they’ll likely tell you that on most nights, they’ll say “Goodnight” to me in my office before they head off to sleep.

Some say, “But Laura, it’s ‘after work hours,’ you should shut it off and spend time with your kids and partner, or DO SELF-CARE!”

First of all, I’m a Woman-of-Color and small business owner doing fabulous, soul-filling work with athletes, coaches, and high performance community members, of course I work my @$$ off.

Second of all, thanks to my small business, I have the ability to care for my family in ways I could not have imagined. It just looks a little different than when I used to run a clinic or work in an agency.

Nights, for instance, are when I have the most focus and energy. I’ve always been like this, even when I was a kid. For me, nighttime is when it is quiet and calm, when no one needs me for anything, when I have minimal distractions. As a person who lives with Attention Deficit, it is in the quiet, calm, and cool of the night when I GET. SHIT. DONE. (And/or, I may be in a hyperfocus space).

Either way, working when it fits MY rhythm, when I am engaged with MY natural energy, is another version of self-care.

(Btw, where are all my Night Owl people at? High five!)

On the other hand, it’s between 2p and 4p when my mind, body, and soul want to crawl into a dark cozy cave and hibernate until next season.

Sadly, 2p-4p is still considered part of society’s version of the “typical work day” structure, so I have to find a way to take care of myself so I can show up and be present.

In order to fit into society’s version of “9-5 productivity,” I do self-care things like:

• Structure myself with time blocks.
• Listen to my mind and body, and adjust accordingly.
• Putting important meetings when I usually have the most energy, between 10am-1pm.
• Having a snack at 10:30am, as it is my body’s natural time to want food.
• Eating a lighter lunch. A heavier lunch – though delicious – will make me a snoring therapist between 2p-4p.
• Either utilize my standing desk or fidget with a pen, as an idle, seated position will make me more likely to feel sleepy.
• Not engaging in any documentation writing between 2p-4p.
• Listen to music or nature sounds (check out Calmsound.com or YouTube for free ambience sounds).
• Chair stretch when my body feels tired or tight.
• Drink water.
• And put planned time off on my schedule – both in my daily agenda and yearly calendar. Knowing that I have a break coming ahead gives my brain something to look forward to and work toward.

Figuring all of this out – what works best for me – took time (I’d guess, a year or two). There were (and still are, at times) many trials and errors. I experimented, made mistakes, learned lessons, and tried…again and again.

But the first step was: I had to accept the fact that I don’t necessarily fit in to the “traditional” structure; I am built differently and therefore, need something different.

Second, it required having a caring community around me. My children and partner know how I am as well as support who I am and what I do. As my community, they check on me, “Mom, did you eat? Mom, don’t stay up too late. Mom, can I give you a hug?” As I do for them.

And we have “Friday Family Night” and “Sunday Family Dinner” – planned, consistent, and sacred time when hang out together every week.

Time for myself. Time for my people. Time for work. And my community acts as my accountability, as I do so for them.

Of course, as athletes you have little control over the schedule. School, work, and life are literally scheduled AROUND your sport.

BUT, you can still listen to your body and mind. They may be trying to communicate needs to you.

Take a moment to reflect. Feel free to journal your answers:

Think of these glasses as your “energy” and “being present” – do you have 100% full glasses, every day?

No?

How come? What is going on right now in your life that empties your cup?

• “I’ve been studying for finals every night.”
• “I got into an argument with my friend, we’re not talking.”
• “I just started dating this new person and I can’t stop thinking about them. I’m distracted.”
• “I had three tough practices in a row and I felt frustrated that I haven’t mastered this skill yet.”
• “Coach is frustrated with me, says I haven’t been playing up to my potential. I don’t know what to do.”
• “I miss my family.”

So…perhaps your energy and “being present” feel more like this then?

Your turn:

Draw 7 glasses, one for each day this week.

How would your glasses look this week?

What impacted your own energy and ability to “be present?”

Next, think about your own natural rhythms. Write your answers down.

• When do you tend to have the most energy in the day?
• When do you tend to feel more tired during the day?
• When do you tend to feel hungry throughout the day?
• When do you need to focus and concentration the most in your day? Do any of these responsibilities fall during times when you’re most energized, or when you tend to be more tired in your day?
• When do you crave movement? How does that feel in your body?
• When do you need quiet and alone time versus social connection time? How do you know when you need either one?

Now…take a moment to analyze all your answers.

• Combining your natural rhythms and what has impacted your life this week, how do you feel about the fullness or lack of fullness of your glasses now?
• What do you need to fill your cup today?
• In thinking about those responsibilities that fall during times when you tend to feel more tired, what would help you get through those times?
• Can you shift your schedule so that the more important responsibilities can align with your more energized times of the day?
• What does rest and replenishment mean to you?
• How can you fuel your body according to when you’re naturally hungry? What foods would be best before you need to be more focused? When do you notice cravings for sweet vs. savory?

With your new reflections, I invite you to the “Amp Up Self-Care Challenge.”

Instead of making a list and trying to do all the things, all at once – start small and realistic.

What is ONE simple thing you can do this week to care for yourself?

Here’s an example…

If you say something like: I will get 8 hours of sleep every night.

It’s too big.

1. BREAK IT DOWN FURTHER. MAKE YOUR PLAN DETAILED.

What do I need to do to get 8 hours of sleep?

• I need to put myself into bed by 10pm

In order to get to bed by 10pm, what do I need to do?

• Eat a hearty dinner no later than 7p.
• Stop whatever I’m doing by 9:30pm – set a timer to remind myself.
• Brush my teeth, wash my face, and put my body into bed by 10pm.
• No phone – it’s too distracting. Put my phone into my nightstand, read a book for 10 minutes.
• Turn out the light by 10:15pm.

2. SET A DATE. Don’t go for seven days off-the-bat. Start with ONE day.

What day this week will you accomplish your self-care plan?

Refocused goal: This week, on Tuesday, I will get to bed by 10pm.

3. TELL A TRUSTED PERSON. That person will be your accountability.

I told my friend. They will help me by checking-in.

4. DO IT.

5. CELEBRATE YOUR WIN. Small, big…no such thing. A win is a win!

What went well? How do you feel?

I feet proud of myself of getting into bed by 10pm last Tuesday. I enjoyed lying in bed, reading my book. It was my time – quiet and cozy, I liked that.

6. NEXT WEEK, “AMP UP.” ADD ANOTHER DAY. PLAN IT. Be realistic. Slowly rev up. We are aiming for lifestyle change, NOT New Year’s resolutions that break after a week.

Refocused goal: This week, on Tuesday and Sunday, I will get to bed by 10pm.

7. REPEAT AND RE-EVALUATE.

8. If you don’t follow-through, don’t beat yourself up.

BREATHE. REFLECT, LEARN, MAKE ADJUSTMENTS, AND TRY AGAIN.

There is no one-size-fits-all.

It’s okay if your rhythms and self-care needs are different from the people around you. It may take time to figure out what works for you, and it may evolve and shift over time, too.

READY FOR THE CHALLENGE?

If so, let us know in the comments how it’s going! We can be your accountability buddies here!

I celebrate your win for reading this far. That means you are at least thinking about yourself and your self-care needs!

You got this, we are cheerleading you.

All the best,

Laura

Note: This and every Athlete Illuminated post is for educational purposes only and not a replacement for mental health treatment. If you are in urgent need of mental health support, please call 9-8-8. If you are experiencing an emergency, please call 9-1-1 or go to your nearest emergency room. For ongoing mental health concerns, consider seeking professional support or therapy.